Would You Rather
By Ashley O’Hare
Would you rather
spend your days pulling yourself together,
or living freely for future moments?
Personally I would prefer the latter,
but I just can not seem to climb high enough.
My legs were not made to withstand the pressure;
my arms are not long enough to reach the next rung—
so I lie and soak in a bubbling tub,
coping with the fragmented solution of going numb.
I often dream of fantastical futures
where money appears out of the blue.
Long gone are the days of crying in my car
over heartbreaks and minimum payments due.
Then I wake up to the dim moonlight
and I roll over to cry into my pillow all night.
None of my dreams have come true,
no matter the work I put in to bring them to fruition.
My nightmares pay rent in my brain too
and they pay no attention to notices of eviction.
I would rather live my life in freedom,
but first I have to survive;
fighting demons along the way by my lonesome.
ashleyohare 